i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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