I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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