there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
