I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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