I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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