Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
