I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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