I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
