I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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