Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me + whiskey = a bad person
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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