Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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