I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize