He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
