Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
