Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
