You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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