Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
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how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
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holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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