i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
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