Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
vagina is talking i cant
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
