Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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