Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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