Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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