the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
