i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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