Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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