I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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