Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
