I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
