Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
