it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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