why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
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Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
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After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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