East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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