Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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