butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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