so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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