i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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