You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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