We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
