I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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