How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
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Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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