I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
