morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Hippo gnu deer
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
