Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
