Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
