Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Come see our sink grown plant.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
