If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
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