is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i love accidental penises.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
