Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
