did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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