Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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