I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It's not a walk of shame if you run
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
