I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
