Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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