I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
