I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
