I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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