it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
