Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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