The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
