How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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