I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
