absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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