Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
